October was hectic. From working crazy hours of book release prep, to packing in 5 presentations to 200+ students at 3 different schools around Saskatchewan, to flying to Vancouver to teach MindScape—it was a busy and adventurous month, so no wonder I needed some major processing time.

I’m finally coming down from the craze of the Magnus O’Meere book release. To say that I’ve been floored with how well it has gone would be an understatement.

I’ve been a mixed bag of fatigue, excitement, gratitude, overwhelm, and so much more.

In case you haven't heard, my newest children's book, Magnus O'Meere, Mind Pioneer, released on October 16th. The book hit #1 Bestseller on Amazon.ca in ALL 3 of its book categories, along with #25 out of ALL Children's New Releases, and #1239 overall Bestseller!

But, do you know what the craziest part is of all of this book success? It was actually stopping and feeling worthy of soaking it all in.

I felt hella uncomfortable actually sharing about hitting #1 Amazon.ca Bestseller for Magnus in his categories. It's true. While I was in shock and awe of surpassing my goal and vision of hitting #1 in ANY category--so much so that I was completely shaking--I felt a TON of resistance to pausing and feeling all of the feels that came with this BIG win. I was so resistant that when texting with my mom, I kept saying how "crazy" it was that the book was doing so well. Her response was, "But I thought you told me about all the MindScape you had been doing to spread the awareness of your book? Using your launch team, etc." Oh, yeah. I thought to myself. How quickly we forget.

*Downplaying.*

It's not that there wasn't an incredible amount of support that made this release a success, because there absolutely was. But, why can't I give myself a little credit for the months of launch prep, months of book creation time and the business I ran to fund this project? Like, really? Why do we do that? Why would I do that? Well here's a couple of things that come to mind: - I've never been great at accepting authentic complements or praise. - I am very self-critical.

- I have a belief that talking about personal success is self-absorbed bragging--a big no-no. (Trust me, I'm going to dive into that one tonight).

Do you have a hard time with these things, too?

In the last week and I’ve been trying to rest, recover, and be gentle with myself before diving into the next thing. I've been trying to slow down and take a breath to really take all of this in. Honestly, it's been hard. Here's why: I'm such a dreamer and a doer. I get lost in the next seven ideas before the previous one is finished. And, that's okay, as long as I'm not using that as an avoidance tactic. Writing is totally self-care for me, but in some way, I felt like I was using it as avoidance. Can you relate? So let's dive into this and maybe you'll see some nuggets of awareness mirrored back within yourself: Have I conditioned myself to be a doer? Probably.

Is it safer to be constantly moving through all the tasks to achieve the satisfaction of checking it all off my list? I'm pretty sure I believe that. (working on it).

Is it scary to slow down and stop NEEDING to achieve? Most likely, yes. (But is that actually helpful?)

Is it safer to constantly be busy--again as an avoidance tactic? Maybe. (That's not healthy).

Have I tied my worth into doing? Definitely. What about you?

Is it scary to not *know* what is up next on the grand plan? Oh heck yes. That is definitely hitting a nerve. Which ring true for you?

In bringing those nuggets to my awareness, I have tried my best to ramp UP my self-care and to make space for MindScape, writing, journaling, and self-reflection. I have allowed myself to "turn my brain off" and just BE in the moment. And honestly, it's been very necessary.

I have tried to lean into these places and spaces within myself that are needing some attention and nurturing. And it is always wildly beneficial. Booking a trip to Vancouver to teach MindScape the day after my new book released might sound absolutely insane, but it was the best gift I could have ever given to myself. Here's why: I booked myself a nice travel day where I followed my feels and my inspiration before getting to a hotel and having a night to do whatever I felt drawn to do--which was some wandering and a big dose of relaxation. Do you know how refreshing wandering is? *Highly recommend* Teaching MindScape is like a soul-reconnection for me every time. It shows me where I have been too closed-minded, where I need to let go of control, and where I'm keeping myself boxed in. Teaching is always expansive, soul-stretching, and magical. MindScape is like a super-dose of inner self connectionthat blows the blinders off, opens up all kinds of doors in the mind, and, thus, shows you all of the open doors around you where you couldn't see them before. If you're still with me through this long deep dive, thank you. This was therapeutic for me and it was time I opened up.

Hopefully, you, too, have gained some nuggets of awareness within this post. Until next time, K