THE BLOG

Lessons from my Three-Year-Old

Dec 05, 2019

My little man woke up last night with a horrid cough. He was 100% fine then he went to bed, but within a few hours he woke sounding like a wheezing seal. Now, knowing what I’ve learned from BodyTalk, I knew this wasn’t truly a physical issue—there’s always something deeper going on.

Once we helped him calm down, we used a few physical remedies help to ease his mind—oils in a humidifier, inhaler, and a drink of water, as I tapped his cortices. As we laid together in his bed, I used MindScape to investigate what he was holding in his body and how it was a reflection of me.

The first thing that came up was a chokehold. Upon investigating, an incident popped into my mind. He was crying in the tub that night, so I went to see what was going on. He was sad and hurt that his sister had punched him. He had started it, so the accusations were flying back and forth between them. Instead of giving him a hug and honouring his feelings, I lectured them, when I know better. Connect first, then reflect together. I didn’t do that. So, in that moment, he felt his feelings weren’t valid even though he was still sad. #stuffeddown

I quietly talked to him about it out loud, so that he would know I understood how he was feeling and so that he could understand it to instead of holding it inside. I apologized for how I handled the situation.

The next thing that came into my mind was that he fell on the ice when we were skating and hurt his bum, but he was facing the other direction so we couldn’t hear him crying. In a child’s mind this can be scary and hurtful. Of course we did go to help, but he probably thought we were ignoring his tears. When I whispered to him about this (even though I thought he was sleeping), he replied that he was trying to do what his sister was doing but he got hurt. He learned: Trying to keep up got him hurt.

I said, “How did that make you feel?”

“Sad,” he replied.

“That must’ve been scary for you that we didn’t hear you crying.”

He agreed.

“I’m proud of you for trying, buddy. Do you think it’s okay if we fall sometimes? I’ve fallen lots before. Did you know that?”

He shook his head.

“Daddy even fell, remember? Sometimes that might be a way that we can learn, too?”

He nodded. I smiled.

(Sidenote: sharing examples of times when Mom and Dad are human, emotional, make mistakes and fall down—physically or metaphorically—really helps kids see that it’s okay to try, fall, mess up, get back up and try again. It also shows them that their parents don’t have it all figured out, aren’t perfect, and are still learning, too. #powerful)

I did a few other BodyTalk techniques, told him he was doing a great job of letting his emotions flow so his body could heal and he could feel all better after a big sleep.

He slept through till morning and barely coughed upon waking. After going to the bathroom, he said, “I think that was why I had a cough. Because I had to poop.” #lifelessonsfromathreeyearold

Kids are so good at listening to their bodies. He let go of what he was holding onto, emotionally, and then he didn’t need a cough anymore to show him what he was holding inside. ❤️

Did you know the body (and mind) can heal that fast when we get our emotions, expectations, and beliefs out of the way?

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